Those of you following my blog will remember that last week I wrote about my thoughts on going back to work and whether it was the right time for our family. I received such an over-whelming response to the post and was so touched by all your words of support and encouragement. I hadn’t realised what a universal topic it is, and it just meant the world to me that those reading seemed to understand where I was coming from. There’s always the worry that it seems like you are gagging to run away from your child!
Since then, I have met with my employer and chatted about the role in detail. There were several re-assuring things when we met – the first was that she seemed to be a calm and measured person, which makes a big difference for me when working to someone. It was also the first interview I’ve had where we were talking ‘on the level’ rather than trying to impress someone with my experience. Perhaps it’s different now that I’m a mother and have other priorities but I spoke my mind and wasn’t afraid to tell her what I didn’t have knowledge of, as well as what I can do with no trouble.
Then there was silence, for what seemed like ten thousand weeks. It was actually 3 working days, but my anxiety for the job was cranked up to 180. At one point, I gave myself a reality check that 2 weeks ago, I wasn’t even thinking of work. I was happily blogging and looking after Emma and now suddenly all I want is to know where I stand with it. I was refreshing my inbox at least 20 times an hour and even calling my answering phone just in case she left a message and I wasn’t notified. Yes it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions, but at least it confirmed one thing: I want to go back to work.
I had started to get an inkling that things might be going my way when I was asked for my CV and references but then it was confirmed…I got the job! The email came in the evening and I just stared at it in disbelief. My first thought was:
‘I’m still employable’
That might be a really silly thing to say, and I hope it doesn’t come across like a ‘woe is me’ statement, but I genuinely thought that. I suppose it goes with the territory of working in a freelance industry, where the job is time consuming to say the least. Forget 9am-5pm. It has always meant working the hours required to get the job done. So when I found out I was pregnant, I suppose I dismissed myself and knew it would be a struggle to return to work. I even got the odd comment “ah good luck with that one, there’s so many mothers looking for part time work”. My heart would always sink at hearing this, knowing deep down that it’s true.
So now the contract is signed and a new phase of our lives begin. The logistical juggle of working in London and being there for Emma too. It’s all quite daunting but I know so many people handle the working mum juggle and manage it just fine, so we’ll get there. With the help of Mum and the constant support of my other half, it will all be okay. Here’s to the new me, working mama and I couldn’t be more excited!