Yesterday I woke up in a pretty foul mood. In fact I was so full of angry that when I sat down and tried to write about it, nothing really came out apart from moaning. I’m usually pretty durable, but it’s been a pretty trying week travel-wise. I won’t be the bore who goes on about how much of an inconvenience that was. Essentially it was this: everything took a lot longer.
All week I’ve been thinking of Albert Camus’ line: ‘hell is other people’. There’s just so many people all doing the same thing, taking the same journey you are. By the time I got to Wednesday night, closing in on my third day of making it home on a delayed train, I’d had enough. I wished I could walk all the way to Brighton. But the worst thing about it was it sucked all the positivity out of me and I was annoyed. However there are a few take-home lessons from this week, if nothing else.
-If you reckon you’ve thought of a cunning Plan B – about a hundred other people will also have had the same idea.
-Snacks and a portable G + T change everything.
-Sitting next to a guy listening to techno blaring out of his headphones starts off as annoying. But after 20 minutes is quite enjoyable. Also respect to the guy for ignoring 5 people death-staring him.
-Don’t try and run across the road into 3 lanes of oncoming commuter traffic, almost getting run over – it potentially won’t save you 2 minutes. Oh, and cyclists WILL attempt to run you over and get really shouty about it.
-I am surprising out of condition and definitely not fit enough to walk everywhere instead of taking the tube.
I know this won’t change at all in the coming months and to be honest, part of me thinks it’s important that the unions do make a stand. However it’s just assumed now that there are no Southern Rail trains to London and it often fills me with dread. I hate everything I’m missing: bedtimes, that anxious feeling when I’m not sure if I’ll be on time, spending more time on the trains than with the boys in the evening. This week has made me think seriously about finding a job in Brighton. It’s made me re-assess this working mum situation and what’s going to work best for our family.
The decision to go back to work was always a bit of a tough one for me, a bit of an unknown. From being incredibly driven and ambitious, my priorities suddenly changed and it was about supporting my family. It wasn’t all about me anymore and what I want. I’m lucky to have a job that is part time, as I know lots of people work every day, but I also know that it’s finding something that works for you. Finding that job that makes you happy, but also doesn’t pull you away from you’re family life too much. Maybe it was just a bit of a rough week, or maybe I’m still looking for the missing piece of the jigsaw to fit a little better.