Re-discovering ‘Us’ :: Three Years On

This is a collaborative post with Sitters.co.uk

I’ve shied away from writing about this for such a long time, but I’ve always been open about how tough I found the sleep deprivation since Emma came along. I suppose it’s the not knowing that is hardest. Six months rolled on and Emma would be waking three to four times a night. Then we got to her one-year birthday and things hadn’t changed so much. Even at two years old, other mums at toddler groups would look at me in disbelief when I told them Emma has never slept through. More to the point, I couldn’t imagine a time when she would.

Of course, this is fairly common amongst parents and the way I coped was to accept that this is our new normal and Emma will get there in her own time. But along the way, as a couple, I knew we’d sort of lost ourselves completely. It was hard to imagine a time when we’d just have a few drinks and a giggle; having a baby definitely re-defined ‘us’ but I wanted a little bit of it back. I wanted to be able to go to the cinema, or be able to say yes to a friends’ invitation to go for drinks.

I discovered Sitters.co.uk when Emma was young and knew it was a fantastic option for us. Every sitter is a pre-checked childcare professional, putting my mind at ease that Emma would be in safe hands for the evening. But when she was waking at 10pm, 11pm, or perhaps earlier, I just didn’t feel happy leaving her. I felt it was unfair on a babysitter and I also worried about Emma not understanding why Mummy and Daddy aren’t there. But recently, she has started sleeping through and it made me realise that our options are far less restrictive than they used to be. You can find more info here on using the Sitters.co.uk service.

We’ve decided that 2018 is the year of using the help around us when it is needed. Sometimes that might be a few hours to ourselves without the children, or just a helping hand while one of us is commuting home from work (train strikes and cancellations make logistics stressful). Whatever the occasion, it’s brilliant to know that we have a vetted website of childcare professionals, just a click away to give us the help we need.

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13 Comments

  1. January 30, 2018 / 7:59 pm

    Oh it’s so hard isn’t it? You will get out soon I promise! #dreamteam

  2. January 30, 2018 / 8:30 pm

    The website ‘Sitters’ sounds like a great idea and my folks struggle to get out because of lack of close family around. Glad she is sleeping a bit better and hope you get that date night soon x #DreamTeam

  3. January 30, 2018 / 10:02 pm

    Glad you’ve managed to find some time for yourselves again – parenthood really takes it out of you and it can be hard to prioritise your relationship with your partner

  4. mackenzieglanville
    January 31, 2018 / 5:50 am

    I totally understand, my hubby and I didn’t have a night away together until Aspen was eight! Yes I know it sounds crazy, I just wasn’t ok with leaving her. I actually don’t regret it though, we made the most of nights in together and if I went out for dinner I felt safe she was with my hubby. At the times t feels like we are lost to the outside world and our babies consume every part of us, but now she is almost 14 and she sleeps at friends and I am glad I sacrificed this time when she was little. I think each to their own and what we are comfortable with doing and how our child copes also. Even if we couldn’t have date nights out, we would eat takeout Thai food when she was asleep, or watch a movie and snuggle. If we are going out and preoccupied then I’d rather be home. #DreamTeam

  5. January 31, 2018 / 9:41 am

    It is so important that once you have children that you make time for your partner or spouse. We often don’t realise it but kids tend to take up most of our time and our sole focus generally shifts to them. In saying that, we start drifting away from our partners. Date nights are important for any relationship. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. And getting help in to babysit the kids is a good idea.#dreamteam

  6. January 31, 2018 / 10:45 pm

    I think most of us have been there. You’re braver than me, though. I don’t think I could leave our two with a sitter. I would have a shite time just worrying about them all evening!
    #DreamTeam

  7. February 2, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I’m lucky that my parents live 2 streets away so we have a babysitter whenever we want but choose not to do it too often as we don’t want to take advantage! I’d love to find out if this service is available near us… #dreamteam

  8. February 3, 2018 / 11:56 am

    It’s tricky isn’t it. I know what you mean Bridget. And how nice would it be to be able to go out every now and again to do grown up things… like seeing a movie at the cinema which isn’t a U. We’ve still not had a baby sitter yet. Let me know how it goes! #Dreamteam xx

  9. February 3, 2018 / 4:06 pm

    Life changes so much with littles doesn’t it? It’s so important to have time to yourselves too and it’s great that you’ve found a team that you trust and can call upon. Hope you get some quality time together soon xx

  10. February 5, 2018 / 7:35 pm

    Aaaww sounds like it’s been tough!! Pleased to hear a night out could well be on the horizon soon!! #DreamTeam

  11. February 5, 2018 / 8:00 pm

    It’s so important to remember you are still a couple and to make time for each other but it can be so difficult when you don’t have a regular supply of babysitters so this sounds like a great service! #dreamteam

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