It’s OK to Fail, Just Try Again

A week and a half ago, I started a course that focused on eating, well-being and generally ME. Now there’s a change right? It’s actually the second time I’ve done this course. The first was back when Emma was five months old and I’m still not sure if I was going through a bit of anxiety towards being a full time mother, but I wasn’t ready for it. In short, I went nuts. I restricted what I ate, went overkill on the exercise. I needed to take a breather and in the meantime, sorted my sh!t out and tried again.

This is first and foremost what I love about Supercharged Club. You don’t quit. You might fail, but you can try again. If I’m honest, I’m mighty good at quitting things. So here I am, trying again. It’s only been 10 days and my word, it has been hard work. But work that I need to do – for me, for the children, for my other half, for everyone in my life really.

Emma and Mummy looking out to sea try again

Spending some time thinking about my habits, what makes me happy. It was way harder than it looked – I wish I could just write down ‘putting lipstick on’ but it’s not that simple (it’s still a work in progress). I think I’ve always felt that it was not okay to fail. It’s almost hard to change that mindset within me, that it is perfectly okay, you just have to get back on and try. I can even see elements in Emma too, where she is so perfectionist that she won’t try anything unless she knows she can do it. Did I pass that onto her?

I’ve always found it painfully hard to be honest with myself, to ask myself what I really want. It’s so much easier to focus on everyone else around you. I’m not sure if this is a female thing, a mother thing but why is this so hard? When I was younger I would have said ‘to be slim’ I’m sure, having spent a lifetime of healthy eating following by impressive crisp marathons. But these days, it’s not about being slim (for me anyway). What I’m starting to see that what I those goalposts keep changing as I keep changing.

Then there’s my blog. My (other) baby. The project I started to reclaim a bit of ‘me’ back. How many times have I thought to myself that I wanted to give it all up. I don’t even want to think about it, as it’s countless times! When that self-doubt creeps in, it can all seem rather pointless. Except for it isn’t – I’m fiercely proud of what I’ve created and perhaps it just means I need to keep trying. It’s something that is important to me, and perhaps I need to put a little more value into other things in my life too.

So my work in progress, is, well…still in progress and meanwhile I am feeling rather positive about things. I’m focusing on different things – there are the things that make me smile each day. Then there are the things that are not so great. But I’m also vowing to myself that I will keep trying, keep practising. The most positive thing of all is to remind myself that there is no quick fix, no tah-dah and it’s all sorted. This stuff takes work, so I’m going to do the work.

This is not an ad but with huge thanks to Emma and Mary, the inspirational founders of Supercharged Club

 

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55 Comments

  1. July 12, 2017 / 4:07 pm

    Love love love this Bridget. I understand exactly what you mean about being a perfectionist and not wanting to appear to fail as though it’s showing a weakness. I think you’ve got it spot on with this post in that it actually shows amazing strength to come back and try again. So inspiring to read. Xx

  2. July 13, 2017 / 5:40 pm

    I’m so pleased to hear you’re in a positive place right now darling that is amazing to hear I think we all struggle with this to some extent and it really is a case of how honest we are about it all with ourselves and others. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely and keep riding that wave! xoxo

  3. July 13, 2017 / 8:41 pm

    This sounds just like me – I am such a perfectionist… and I worry that I’m passing that onto my kids… and if they did end up with this all-consuming trait, I would count that as another failure… and I don’t like to fail. Aaargh! It’s hard to battle mindsets that you’ve grown up with and are firmly entrenched in your brain, but you can do it. It’s great that you’ve found a course that is helping you to do that. I wish you luck x #coolmumclub

  4. July 14, 2017 / 9:11 am

    I love this. I’m the type of person who doesn’t even try things if I think I might not be good at it, and if I’m not good at something I tend to just give up. I’m trying so hard to not pass that down to my kids! Actually, I’m trying really hard to stop being like that, we’re all only human right? A lovely read x x #coolmumclub

  5. July 15, 2017 / 6:52 am

    Failure is delay, not defeat. Or as they say in the Dakar, it doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you’re still moving forward. #Stayclassymama

  6. July 15, 2017 / 10:34 pm

    Mistakes are how we learn and we need to do it by ourselves. The number of times I say something to the kids and they ignore me then they get hurt and wish they’d listened… When I’d given up on love, my son told me that I never let him give up on anything so why was I allowed to. I joined match.com the next day and met my new partner Chris within the month! #stayclassymama

  7. July 18, 2017 / 6:12 am

    I fail at least once a day at something I said I would do. I just try again the next day. Stay positive, you’re inspiring others to give things a go! #DreamTeam

  8. July 18, 2017 / 6:53 am

    Hi, being a bit of a perfectionist is tough and not wanting to give up. Good luck and remember all of the positives. You will be inspiring others by sharing this post #dreamteam

  9. July 18, 2017 / 6:54 am

    Hi, not sure if the first comment worked as I can’t see it. Good luck and remember to focus on the positives #dreamteam

  10. July 18, 2017 / 6:54 am

    I love this post. I think it’s great that you’re treating yourself as a work in progress and giving yourself permission to fail – that’s the only way to really achieve big things. Good luck, lady! #DreamTeam

  11. July 18, 2017 / 7:45 am

    I’m getting better at failing. I’m learning to chill out much more and resist fighting what can’t be fought. That said, a little more practice would go a miss! #dreamteam

  12. July 18, 2017 / 8:31 am

    What a brilliant idea about doing something that actually focuses on you alone. I think it is so easy to lose sight of ourselves when we become parents as it’s suddenly all about someone else and we put ourselves on the back burner. It was only recently (in the last year) my mother told me that when she went through the menopause she did not tell either myself or my sister, she was clinically depressed and we knew nothing, she hid it from us because she did not want us to know the depths of dispair that she was feeling. It was so upsetting to hear that but I think mothers know the world revolves around them and they feel so much pressure to not show any weakness and it just doesnt do any good to keep things hidden and bottled up. (im terrible for doing that though) so I hope you continue on your journey of positivity and keep trying to smile every day xx Nicky #DreamTeam

  13. July 18, 2017 / 9:35 am

    At least you are trying!! And that’s the most important thing x picking yourself up and dusting yourself down. I admire your positivity and courage to keep going x #DreamTeam x

  14. July 18, 2017 / 9:46 am

    From what I know of you, you are fiercely determined, and that’s such a good thing. I know you’ve got it within you to succeed. Keep going! #DreamTeam xxx

  15. July 18, 2017 / 10:16 am

    Since becoming a mother I have really become a professional failer. I used to be so bent on perfection. It is a steep ass learning curve.
    #dreamteam

  16. July 18, 2017 / 10:23 am

    I am a great advocate of ‘failing’. You cannot possibly perfect anything, unless you have tried and failed a few times and persisted. So keep going, you will get there and if there is the odd slip up, well just learn from it and get back to trying #DreamTeam x

  17. July 18, 2017 / 11:37 am

    Failure part of life and how we learn. It’s often not the failure that matters, it’s how we deal with it afterwards. But knowing that doesn’t always make it easier to deal with or come back from. Keep at it 🙂 It’s all we can do

  18. July 18, 2017 / 12:35 pm

    well done for writing this, keep on working at it 🙂 #dreamteam

  19. July 18, 2017 / 12:36 pm

    Failing is not the end, you learn from your failures and try and do better next time. Humanity was built on failure. So don’t give up, you can do it! #DreamTeam

  20. July 18, 2017 / 1:07 pm

    I have to keep brushing off the times I feel I have failed and move on and start again. I will do it, I will succeed and reach the end. 🙂 x
    #dreamteam

  21. July 18, 2017 / 1:59 pm

    Good for you. We need to talk about failure more often and make it normal and part of life, especially for our young ones. What is failure anyway? Not getting where we think or where others think? Well who put out that thought and can’t we enjoy right where we are? We are exactly where we are supposed to be. Work at enjoying that moment and then the next . #DreamTeam

  22. July 18, 2017 / 2:07 pm

    I’m sure I’ve already commented on this but I can’t find it! But anyways, still a great post the second time around too 🙂 I think it’s great when you find something or someone that really inspires you to make changes in your life. I totally sympathise with your hatred of failing because that’s what I’m like too – I know it’s an impossible standard to have, but I have it anyway! Lol. I look forward to reading some more updates as you integrate this course into your everyday thinking. Good luck! #dreamteam

  23. July 18, 2017 / 2:34 pm

    Oh I love the sound of the supercharged club. I could definitely do with looking into that. I am severely lacking in me time. x #dreamteam

  24. July 18, 2017 / 6:56 pm

    Inspirational Bridget. We beat ourselves up too much by ‘not succeeding’. As long as we keep trying that’s the best we can do for ourselves. We are only human and slip at everything from time to time. We just have to get back on that horse! #DreamTeam

  25. July 18, 2017 / 7:36 pm

    I really like the concept of supercharged club and agree that it is ok to fail, I think sometimes the hardest part is getting back up and continuing X #dreamteam

  26. July 18, 2017 / 7:43 pm

    #dreamteam have you tried mindfulness and meditation – i find much of this flows from the session so i don’t need to focus on these worries. You are enough. 3 important words.

  27. July 18, 2017 / 8:35 pm

    All the best to you moving forward. I too am a perfectionist who runs away from too many things unless I can do it spot on. That includes driving and also taking a chance of the love of my life. Someone wise once said to me that I fear success more than I fear failure – it is worth considering that. And then there is all that positive stuff about learning from our mistakes/perceived failures.

  28. July 18, 2017 / 9:11 pm

    It’s the trying that counts! I have been trying for a long time but I won’t give up! #DreamTeam

  29. July 18, 2017 / 9:35 pm

    Love this post for all its honesty. I think we all feel that desperation not to fail, but like you say, we can just try again. It doesn’t matter. I’ve got to get a hold of my diet as I’ve been so unhealthy recently and it doesn’t make me feel good but it’s habits that I can’t seem to break. I am trying meditation everyday and that’s a good focus for me. Supercharged club could be just what I need. #DreamTeam

  30. suzanna
    July 18, 2017 / 10:19 pm

    Great positive post. Good luck. We’re all a work in progress 🙂
    #dreamteam

  31. July 18, 2017 / 11:30 pm

    I wanted to come and give you a big hug Bridget. You are not alone believe me. I think the fact that you recognise your strengths is inspirational. Its about getting into the ring and not just being a spectator. You’re fabulous.
    #DreamTeam

  32. July 19, 2017 / 4:53 am

    This really resonates with me. I too have felt it’s not ok to fail. Sounds like you are doing a brilliant job. You’re right, we’ve all just got to keep going! Your blog is fab too by the way, so it’s definitely good you didn’t throw in the towel xx #dreamteam

  33. July 19, 2017 / 7:19 am

    Being a perfectionist can be crippling sometimes when it stops you doing or finishing something. I’m trying to change that mindset, but it isn’t easy. I also try to choose my words carefully with my daughter, to emphasise the idea that it doesn’t matter if you can’t do something at first, you just keep trying until eventually you can do it. The only way to succeed is to first fail many times. #DreamTeam

  34. mackenzieglanville
    July 19, 2017 / 7:37 am

    oh I know what it is like to be a perfectionist, so hard! Be gentle on your soul, sometimes we need to live by knew rules as our old way of doing thing just doesn’t work any more, as we grow and change we learn differently. Nurture who you are, there is no rush, be kind to yourself and the paths will open up and lead you to greater happiness xx #dreamteam

  35. July 19, 2017 / 8:39 am

    Yes. Exactly this. Curious about the supercharged club #dreamteam

  36. July 19, 2017 / 9:02 am

    Oh my word this sounds amazing and something that, if we are all honest with ourselves, could do with. I don’t expect it is easy at all but well done you on taking the first brave step of starting it. I feel I exist in an entire state of a whirlwind which just keeps going. There’s no time to stop and get off for a while and focus on what is really important! Hope it gets easier my lovely #DreamTeam

  37. talkingmums1
    July 19, 2017 / 10:36 am

    Spot on. I hate feeling like I’m failing and I hate people knowing if I fail at things. But in reality failing is ok, it’s how we learn how to move forward.
    #DreamTeam

  38. Claire
    July 19, 2017 / 1:06 pm

    Completely agree. Lif’e is all about trying things again. I may need to focus on myself too. My little one starts nursery in September and I think i have lost all clue as to who I am without him #dreamteam

  39. July 19, 2017 / 2:35 pm

    Good luck and keep going! The course sounds like something that could really help me if I had the time. How ironic! An inspiring post xx
    #DreamTeam

  40. July 19, 2017 / 3:38 pm

    Such a great post! I’m a perfectionist and have lost count of the projects littered behind me as I give up when things go wrong. My blog is very much a hobby for me just so I can pretend that it doesn’t need to be perfect – which would then stress me out! #DreamTeam

  41. July 19, 2017 / 9:51 pm

    Sounds like a great thing to do! Me time is something we forget as mummies there is always someone else to put first and we always seem to fall behind and fade into the background!

    #dreamteam linky

  42. July 20, 2017 / 8:22 am

    Totally agree. I am exactly the same I always want everything to be done quickly, a promotion, losing weight, my blog following, Bear to start talking! So many things but I have just realised that I need to be more patient. I watched this documentary the other night about millennials and one of our down falls is that we expect everything to happen right away, which is apparently why we have low job satisfaction and move around so much. I was like yep this is me haha. So like you say it’s in progress and thats okay . Thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!

  43. July 20, 2017 / 8:59 am

    I think it’s great you are doing something to focus on you, it’s inspired me to try and find something just for me good luck #dreamteam

  44. July 20, 2017 / 8:57 pm

    Super read, self care is a great thing, and putting ourselves first for a change. I often think of myself last, the assumption being as I am a SAHM I’m all about the me…..not so!!! Good on you! #dreamteam

  45. July 20, 2017 / 11:15 pm

    This sounds great Bridget, I even popped over to check out the classes. I love how you are a tryer, and that even if things aren’t going how they should be, you try again. It’s such a good quality to have. #dreamteam xx

  46. July 22, 2017 / 7:47 pm

    I’m pleased to hear you’ve found something that works well for you. #DreamTeam

  47. July 23, 2017 / 10:57 am

    Oh I love this Bridget, you sound so positive. I feel like I’ve spent my whole life feeling like a failure – failure to keep a husband, to keep a baby, to be mentally well, physically well, the mother I hoped I would be. It’s so tough to change that mentality, sounds like you’ve had some amazing help. Xx

  48. July 24, 2017 / 10:47 am

    Lovely post! positivity and focus and you can achieve anything. You’re doing great 🙂
    #dreamteam

  49. July 24, 2017 / 12:01 pm

    It’s so hard to even remember what you’re dreams are and even what you like and what you want after kids. Now my elder 3 are getting older and less dependant I’m left thinking aarrgh now what do I do! Great post

  50. susielhawes
    July 24, 2017 / 1:51 pm

    Oh Bridget, I think we might be the same person hah! I have felt like a failure all weekend… a failure to be anything more than a boring mum, a failure because I couldn’t hack working and leaving my daughter, a failure for not being thinner or more healthy, for not to be a better blogger and earning more money… I just feel so weak sometimes. I think I could do with this course! Well done you for taking these positive steps, I look forward to seeing how you get on xx #DreamTeam

  51. July 24, 2017 / 8:57 pm

    it sounds like you’re really making a go of it this time! so good to hear such positivity!!! #dreamteam

  52. July 25, 2017 / 10:22 pm

    This is me right now. You’ve voiced exactly how I feel this week – and I think I need to take a leaf out of your book and make myself think about what I actually find important. I hope you find what you’re looking for! #dreamteam

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