Just A Moment – A Mummy’s Patience

Today I lost my patience. For a moment, I just snapped and let my emotions run wild. It had been one hell of a day, so I needed to but the worst part was it was directed at my 16 month old girl. As I raised my voice to make myself feel better, I knew that she was now upset. I had transferred my anger and frustration onto her, for something that wasn’t even her fault, and I now felt like the worst mother in the world.

I want to say that I had a million and one things to do that day and that some disaster had happened mid-way to cause me to feel like this. I want to say that I spent all day rushing around, only for Emma to have a poonami at the worst moment. But the truth is, there is no explanation as to why I was in such a crappy mood all day. I felt tired, lethargic and irritated by everything around me for some reason. My other half was trying to help with the housework and tidying, but I saw that as an indication that I’m not doing enough. Some days the only thing to do is make it to bedtime and sleep it off, and never has this been truer today.

woman covering face and crying

I’ve known from Day one how sensitive Emma is to my feelings and reactions. Even if I sneeze loudly, she looks at me with a worried look on her face. At one week old, we were watching Magic music channel together (guilty pleasure!), and as a soppy song came on, I cried a little, I blame the baby blues! But as I did, she looked up at me….I was shocked that a 1 week old baby could sense that her mummy was upset. So I know deep down that I need to be patient and positive if I can. I know that she responds better that way anyway and I try my hardest, I really do.

Months ago, someone told me that Happy Mummy = Happy Baby and I see every day how true this is. I see how my mood affects the entire household and for that reason, it’s better all round when I’m sunnier and smiling. But some days I have to let my guard down. Some days I have to be me and just have a moment to let out the frustration when things just aren’t going as I’d hoped. Or when I have a day when I’d prefer to be sitting on the couch watching Netflix. And that was today for me.

As I write this, I realise that we all have bad days. We all have those moments where we just need a moment with the bathroom locked to compose ourselves. And maybe it’s ok to allow myself a few of those moments when I really need them, to let Happy Mummy return once again. So today was a bad day. Tomorrow might be better. And for now, I’ll leave it just as it is, feel bad a little and keep on trucking.

 

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41 Comments

  1. August 30, 2016 / 6:58 am

    I feel your pain, this is exactly how I’ve felt lately and it can be so hard to snap out of it sometimes. #dreamteam

  2. August 30, 2016 / 7:07 am

    I completely agree with happy mum happy baby. But we all have moments where we snap, we are only human and it happens. We just need to accept, move on, and make the next day or moment better. #dreamteam

  3. August 30, 2016 / 7:43 am

    I totally feel You and unfortunately must forewarn you that it gets worse as they hit their toddler years and preschool. Just remember your heart is in the right place, but sometimes you can’t be perfect, happy, clapping all the time. I find a deep breath and stepping away to make a tea or just put my head in my hands (ha) helps.

    You are a great mother. #dreamteam

  4. August 30, 2016 / 8:05 am

    Ah man it’s so hard, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I raised my voice the other day and said the F word, it was really bad. I will NEVER do this again. Losing your patience with a baby is the worst, they don’t know what they’re doing so there is no reason they should be in trouble ever. Anyway, don’t feel too bad as I’m sure most parents lose their patience and the kids turn out alright in the end : ). Glad you had a lovely holiday in Ireland and happy to see you back in action! #dreamteam

  5. August 30, 2016 / 8:22 am

    Oh yes I feel your pain hun. No-one can be 100% patient 100% of the time and we all have bad days. Let go of that mummy guilt and give Emma an extra squeeze today. Big hugs #DreamTeam

  6. August 30, 2016 / 8:26 am

    aww lovely this happens to all of us – sometimes life just gets too much and we snap – we are only human – and tomorrow is a new day – don’t dwell – move on and pour an extra large glass of wine xx Happy Mummy will return #DreamTeam

  7. August 30, 2016 / 8:39 am

    It really does happen to everyone. There doesn’t need to be a trigger it’s just a number of things combined to make our mood change. I hope you woke feeling better #dreamteam

  8. August 30, 2016 / 8:48 am

    We all have those days. I know I certainly do! Like you say, if you’re happy, baby will be happy and the important thing is you recognise that. If everything else fails, wine usually works.
    Potty Adventures
    #dreamteam

  9. August 30, 2016 / 9:04 am

    Oh lovely I completely know what you mean. I’ve been a demon recently!! We all have days like this, a big hug to Emma and she will be fine I’m sure and get a big hug from the other half! Hope you have a happy mummy day today #dreamteam

  10. August 30, 2016 / 9:33 am

    I have lot’s of down days. But I find taking time out for myself actually helps me and is also better for my kids #DreamTeam

  11. August 30, 2016 / 9:39 am

    It is really easy to do and happens to the best of us, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Just write it off and start again tomorrow. #dreamteam

  12. August 30, 2016 / 9:43 am

    Oh you poor thing! You sound just like me! I work so hard to be Happy Mummy but if I ever have a bad day, I totally beat myself up about it. My eldest is very sensitive and really picks up on the emotions of others so I feel so guilty if I get cross at her because she’ll totally take it to heart. Try to give yourself a break – everyone has bad days. We’re all human. #DreamTeam

  13. August 30, 2016 / 9:46 am

    I think we all feel like this at times then feel incredibly guilty afterward- hormones and lack of sleep I find do not help! I have realised how my children get older how my mood and behaviour affects them and how much better life is when I am smiling! 🙂 #dreamteam Lou

  14. August 30, 2016 / 11:09 am

    We’ve all had moments like this I’m sure. Sometimes we just can’t have totally perfect days. #triballove

  15. August 30, 2016 / 12:22 pm

    So true. We all day our days and we need to be able to express our feelings in our own safe space. Netflix days work best for me too. Thanks for hosting #DreamTeam

  16. August 30, 2016 / 1:06 pm

    Don’t worry we all do mistakes and have bad days they called it motherhood 🙂 #DreamTeam

  17. August 30, 2016 / 1:34 pm

    Being a parent is certainly a rollercoaster of emotions. We all have our good and off days, the fact that you realise when you’re not the best parent, means you are a really good parent! #DreamTeam

  18. August 30, 2016 / 1:40 pm

    Hugs. We really do all get those days. xxx #DreamTeam

  19. August 30, 2016 / 2:53 pm

    Oh Bridie, thank you for sharing this – as you know I get those deep breath days too!! I shouted at TM recently for trying to put his hand down the toilet or something silly like that and it was awful, I felt like the worst person ever and it made the situation so much worse. BUT we are only human and it is going to happen. We can only do our best. You’re a wonderful mum so please don’t feel guilty for having an off day sometimes. #dreamteam

  20. August 30, 2016 / 3:39 pm

    I have many a day like this where I lock myself away and breakdown. I can’t be done with happy mummy all the time, the constant message to be perfect. No one is and we pretend life is always hunky dory don’t will lead a warped a view to our children. Hope you feel better and remember you are not alone X #dreamteam

  21. August 30, 2016 / 7:38 pm

    I think we need to allow ourselves to have bad days (or bad moments) every now and then. No one can be happy all the time! I try to watch my mood around the Popple too because I know that she is aware of how I’m feeling, but sometimes it’s hard when all you want to do is lay on the couch with a film and some ice cream. Hope things are going better! #DreamTeam

  22. August 30, 2016 / 7:54 pm

    I agree that happy mummy = happy baby but it’s so hard to be happy sometimes isn’t it? We all have bad days, you definitely aren’t alone in that x #DreamTeam

  23. August 30, 2016 / 9:43 pm

    Oh lovely – you’re absolutely not alone and the fact that it affected you so strongly makes you a bloody brilliant mummy! Yes, happy baby goes hand in hand with happy mummy but sometimes you can’t be a supermum and things just get to you. Extra cuddles and kisses the next day and you’re golden xx

  24. August 30, 2016 / 11:03 pm

    You’re only human and we all have days like this. I try to stay upbeat too but it’s hard sometimes! #dreamteam

  25. August 30, 2016 / 11:25 pm

    It happens to us all. I had one of those days yesterday. In my case, it tends to be directed at my mum rather than at Piglet, but I am worried that he’ll grow up thinking we hate each other as we are always sniping at the moment! Hopefully when I finally move out we will have our own space and things will be easier. #dreamteam

  26. August 31, 2016 / 3:18 am

    I had one of those days today. The toddler twins are sick and miserable and my six year old is under the weather. My eight year old is all geeked because her bday is in a few days…the kids just went back to school and everyone is so tired. Everyone needed me and I just couldnt do it. I could not make everyone feel happy and loved.

    Hang ing there. We only have about….20 years to go!

  27. August 31, 2016 / 3:18 am

    I had one of those days today. The toddler twins are sick and miserable and my six year old is under the weather. My eight year old is all geeked because her bday is in a few days…the kids just went back to school and everyone is so tired. Everyone needed me and I just couldnt do it. I could not make everyone feel happy and loved.

    Hang ing there. We only have about….20 years to go!

  28. August 31, 2016 / 7:50 am

    I can totally understand your feelings. I was all happy and calm until my son turned two. Then began the temper tantrums and I kind of lost my calmness. Sometimes I yelled at him. That didn’t help. I’m trying to be more zen-like. #DreamTeam

  29. August 31, 2016 / 6:42 pm

    Keep you head up, it is always ok to feel sad, you are human, emotions and all. Remember that storms pass. #DreamTeam

  30. September 1, 2016 / 4:29 pm

    I’ve definitely had days like that where everything seems to annoy me and I sometimes snap. I think it just comes from the stress of motherhood. My little bear is also very sensitive to my feelings as well so I know what you mean. You’re doing great Mama! #DreamTeam

  31. September 1, 2016 / 5:38 pm

    There’s no easy answer. Babies do pick up on moods but it’s not realistic or sustainable to be happy all the time. Like you say, sometimes the best thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation as best you can to try and create some mental space to recover. If not see if someone else can help out.

    #StayClassyMama

  32. September 1, 2016 / 7:16 pm

    Sending you a hug through the blogosphere and a promise that we ALL get this way. We do. Cut yourself some slack. SAHM is hard work. You are allowed a bad day and your little cutiepie will be a0okay. M’wah to you! <3
    #stayclassymama

  33. September 1, 2016 / 10:49 pm

    It happens to us all, I always feel so guilty when I raise my voice and see their little faces #dreamteam

  34. September 2, 2016 / 3:01 pm

    *Waves, hope you are having a better day today. We all have these type of days or moments. I think that some little ones are more sensitive to mood than others though. And of course if mummy seems upset, this will then reflect in their behaviour. Thank you for co-hosting the #DreamTeam with me. xx

  35. September 3, 2016 / 8:09 am

    Please don’t beat yourself up about it! Being a mum is hard and we all lose our patience sometimes xx #dreamteam

  36. September 4, 2016 / 7:58 pm

    Don’t feel bad, most mums (myself included) lose their temper on a daily basis! I’m sure the effects on Emma didn’t last for long. #KCACOLS

  37. September 6, 2016 / 6:44 pm

    Back from #StayClassyMama, read this again! I love when you say a happy mummy = a happy baby it’s soooooo true!

  38. September 7, 2016 / 6:52 pm

    Show me a mother who hasn’t lost it at some point and I’ll show you a liar. It feels horrible but it’s inevitable. We take a breath, apologise, and try again the next day #stayclassymama

  39. September 7, 2016 / 6:52 pm

    Show me a mother who hasn’t lost it at some point and I’ll show you a liar. It feels horrible but it’s inevitable. We take a breath, apologise, and try again the next day #stayclassymama

  40. September 20, 2016 / 2:04 pm

    The title had me! Great post. I doubt there’s a mother on the planet who can’t relate to these feelings. I regularly hide from my kids! Sometimes you just gotta…

  41. September 20, 2016 / 2:10 pm

    The title had me! Great post. I doubt there’s a mother on the planet who doesn’t relate to these feelings. I regularly hide from my children. Sometimes you just gotta…

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