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My Filter-less Feed

I’ve always loved photography and really enjoy taking photos of Emma and our life in Brighton. So it didn’t take long for me to get completely addicted to Instagram and it’s fast becoming my favourite social media platform. However there’s one thing about it that bothers me. I look at some of these gorgeous profiles, their idyllic settings and picture perfect smiling kids and it’s just not us.

This is one of my favourites pictures of this month – Emma is snotty nosed and as ever not smiling, but this is her 100%. I hardly have any pictures of her really close up with her concentrated face. Although it’s not filtered and the best light, it’s the moment that has been captured, as she tries with all her might to steal my phone and stop me from taking pictures of her!

Emma staring at camera, close up shot

When I started this blog, it was to record our lives just as they are – no filter. I wanted to remember the days I felt overwhelmed as well as the ones where I managed to get the routine right. I always wanted this to be a balance of the reality of motherhood – that it’s not all smiles and sunshine; some days are utterly exhausting and I long for my bed. As much as I love sharing my photos and having a platform that is exclusively for that – it just makes me feel bad. It makes me feel like I’m the only one who has days where the only food consumed is half a yoghurt and a handful of raisins. Days when you stop for 30 seconds to down your lukewarm coffee and you find your fast-as-a-whippet daughter has climbed the stairs and is upstairs roaming free. I guess it just makes me feel like our perfectly normal family are not enough.

I know what you’re thinking, why compare your life to these photos? I don’t mean to, and I often wonder if other people do the same thing, as I always kick myself every time I do it! I know deep down that no-one’s life is picture perfect but I really do get sucked into the world of Instagram and these beautiful photos of toddlers smiling in utterly beautiful fields. It gets me thinking that I have never been near a field of that sort with Emma, I mean unless I stopped on the side of an A road specifically to have a mini photoshoot…now that wouldn’t go down too well with the little lady. What strikes me is that no good comes of this comparing, and more to the point what does it matter anyway?

But here’s the thing: we are enough. We’re all enough, every single one of us. We may not be the classic 2.4 children family but we have wonderful moments together – even if the kids hardly ever smile to camera, we always manage to spill food down Emma’s clothes minutes after we dress her and invariably forget to take photos on a family day out. So this is me saying bye bye to feeling bad about our unfiltered and unedited life, and a vow to myself from now on to stop the comparing. A vow to be kinder to myself, because normal is quite alright for me.

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A Cornish Mum
Pink Pear Bear



  1. July 8, 2016 / 8:38 am

    My life has no filter either! It must be hard for those who do want to only show the days when their children are gleefully skipping through a field of corn, as I guess they must feel under pressure not to let the illusion slide! #tribe

    • July 8, 2016 / 8:44 am

      As lovely as the glossy, perfect moment snaps are, if you look back on them and can’t recognise the inner beauty of your children in them, then you’ve sort of missed the point. Really really enjoyed reading this, a fab honest post (and your girl is BEAUTIFUL) xx #tribe #fabfridaypost

  2. July 8, 2016 / 8:41 am

    LOVE IT. Emma is adorable in all her snotty-nosed glory. Bear looks very similar right this moment. The crust is so crusty lol. What a great way to describe what life is really like with children. : ) #triballove

    • July 8, 2016 / 8:43 am

      Thank you! Haha the crustiness and the melodrama of removing it…so glad you liked it x

  3. July 8, 2016 / 9:52 am

    Instagram is my favourite too as I’ve always loved looking at photos and taking them! I know what you mean, I watch people with 1000’s of followers with amazing life styles. I must admit I tend to only post my favourite pictures, which is very unreal of how my day had actually been. I think we’re all guilty of trying to make everything look rosier. Your feed is lovely, keep doing what you are doing. Sarah #FabFridayPost

  4. July 8, 2016 / 10:03 am

    I love your point about we are all enough as we are and I have to confess I quite like the “normal” Instagram pictures – the ones that aren’t picture-perfect but are all about capturing those wonderful snapshots of everyday life with kids. I do try and get “nice” pictures where I can but if they’re indoors, chances are there’s a big pile of clutter that I’ve just pushed away out of shot. It is hard not to compare sometimes but whenever I start doing so I remind myself that comparing my reality to someone else’s highlights reel is not a fair comparison at all. #triballove

  5. July 8, 2016 / 10:31 am

    You make a good point. I do see these beautifully constructed photos and wonder if they are just that. My J certainly won’t stand still and pose for a photo, so any I get of him are quick snap in a second or you’ll miss it shots and I am lucky if they aren’t blurred because he has shot off somewhere else. That is real life with a toddler! Keep taking your unfiltered photos of your beautiful girl and your life and we will keep loving looking at them 🙂

  6. July 8, 2016 / 10:49 am

    I think its the crusty nose that binds us! Bravo!
    Keep t up.

  7. July 8, 2016 / 11:53 am

    Ah, lovely post Bridie. Life is beautiful, normal or not, ordinary or not, snotty or not. #PoCoLo

  8. July 8, 2016 / 12:55 pm

    I feel that I live my life behind a bit of a filter, showing only the rosy moments, and publishing pictures on Facebook and Instagram where we are all happy. If I had published reality this week it would have looked very grey – as sickness took hold in our house. But you’re right, if your blog is to capture how life is, then no filters should be applied. Claire x #PickNMix

  9. July 8, 2016 / 2:32 pm

    Some of my favourite Popple pictures are the ones that capture life as it really is – when she’s getting into something that she shouldn’t, or making a really serious face. It’s easy to get caught up in the picture-perfect world people share on Instagram/Facebook/blogs, but it’s easy to be selective about what you share – no one’s life is really like that!

  10. July 8, 2016 / 5:14 pm

    It’s good to take some ‘perfect’ shots, but also good to grab the funny and awkward moments too. I don’t share anything that’ll embarrass A too much when she’s older, but I don’t filter too much either. #TribalLove

  11. July 8, 2016 / 6:01 pm

    Instagram is by far my favourite of the social media channels. I love it for its variety. I enjoy the air brushed photos (knowing that’s just what they are) and I love the raw and honest ones too. Great post! #Triballove

  12. July 8, 2016 / 8:28 pm

    Emma looks so much like you (minus the snot)!

    Totally agree that it’s so easy to compare our own “normal” lives with the Instagram-perfect-white-sofa-ness. I am only just getting into Instagram but tend to share a mixture of photos on there. I do share some “alpha-type” photos on there to offset my usual Beta ways, but then again life is all about balance.

  13. July 8, 2016 / 9:08 pm

    Ah, love this photo! Love the no filter as well 🙂 x #fabfridaypost

  14. July 8, 2016 / 9:43 pm

    I love this. Whilst I am slightly addicted to Instagram and I do love a bit of VSCO cam for editing my photos, I don’t try and hide the real life. My house is messy, you can definitely see it in some of the photos. I’ve definitely put up pictures of Clem covered in food/paint/snot at some point. x

  15. July 8, 2016 / 9:43 pm

    Good idea! No filters just real life. I very rarely add filters to my pictures, I probably filter out bad from the blog though. I don’t mean too, I love my positive blog posts, it makes my parents happy. We all have bad moments though and just cos I choose not to share them with the world its just how I roll! I’ll just stick with my filterless pictures for now! #pocolo

  16. July 9, 2016 / 7:52 am

    I’m the same, I share the bad bits too because that’s life x #picknmix

  17. July 9, 2016 / 12:09 pm

    Well done for being a no filter family. I am also a no filter family as I think that lots of pretty perfect pictures and posts can start to be a little unbelievable and people cannot relate to them…unless you are lucky to have such a perfect filtered life of course 🙂 #picknmix

  18. July 9, 2016 / 8:42 pm

    This is spooky – I wrote SUCH a similar post just this week too!!! Great minds!!! Although I DO try to “Keep up with the joneses” a little and take lovely photos for Instagram but 9 times out of 10 those are taken first thing in the morning when the outfits are new and the noses are clean…but the rest of the day doesnt look that way and its been bothering me that Im not capturing more of that reality – my thought was what about when I’m older…won’t I want to remember how we REALLY looked?!! Ooh this should be a linky! Dont you think?! xx

  19. July 13, 2016 / 10:01 am

    I love Emma for who she is. I do have the habit of taking a thousand photos and just select the nicest ones for IG. For me, I don’t compare but I learn from others, as well as it is down to luck for those lovely few photos moments. I managed to captured. Beautiful post. Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost. x

  20. July 14, 2016 / 1:31 pm

    Love this! It is all getting a bit ridiculous with the overediting and overfiltering of our lives so this is fantastically refreshing. More power to you Bridie! And thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xx

  21. July 14, 2016 / 6:18 pm

    I much prefer to see normal life photos and that baby selfie is just so cute. And real. And you’re right we are enough. Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo x

  22. July 14, 2016 / 7:35 pm

    I love a filter less feed. Real life, as it happens is my favourite! Carry on, carry on! #coolmumclub

  23. July 14, 2016 / 7:54 pm

    Love this 🙂 My instagram is mostly landscape or nature shots, as with my boys being 10 and 12, they don’t feature a huge amount on my blog anymore in photo form. I restrict it on purpose, as they’re getting older and I worry about bullying etc. Instagram is my favourite form of social media though, filtered or not filtered I love scrolling ym way around the world!

    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix hope to see you there again tomorrow!

    Stevie x

    • July 14, 2016 / 7:55 pm

      Thanks very much 🙂 I’ll definitely be there tomorrow, fab new discovery for me! Xx

  24. July 18, 2016 / 8:24 am

    I love this hun. I’ve done exactly this over the weekend; looked at others facebooks/instagrams and compared myself and Josh to others. It’s not the right thing to do especially when you’ve had a hard day or two and you have to remind yourself of what you’ve got. Emma is absolutely gorgeous and I love the filterless picture! Beautiful xxx #bigpinklink

  25. July 18, 2016 / 8:39 am

    ha ha love this and adore that picture of Emma – snotty nosed and all! I agree that we should be happy with the unfiltered life – thats the real world – a great post, lovely #BigPinkLink

  26. July 18, 2016 / 10:40 am

    I love that you’re real with your feed. I definitely pick the nicest pics of our days for my feed, but that’s probably because they are the photos that I’m proudest of, as I’m a bit more of a photographer then I realised! My captions are always real though! 😀 She’s beautiful, snot and all. 🙂 Thanks for being a #bigpinklinker

  27. July 18, 2016 / 10:57 am

    I am the same! I have a post coming up in which I have made a lovely film that makes my life look wonderful. Then I go and shatter the illsusion by explaining the story behind the film….I always share everything. I probably shouldn’t. #bigpinklink

    • July 18, 2016 / 11:00 am

      Haha you’re so funny Em! I like the beautiful stuff but I suppose it’s all about the balance 🙂 thank you for reading lovely xx

  28. July 18, 2016 / 1:35 pm

    Ah I love this so much. So true…comparison doesn’t get us anywhere. I’m not on IG but I am on FB and the same prevails. I don’t even know what a filter is let alone how to apply one to any of the terrible pictures I take. But even so I have looked back on particular phases in my life (like the newborn stage) and although I didn’t share much I shared a few pics and it all looks very happy, I look very together. I was emphatically not together, I don’t understand how any of the pictures look even halfway normal! But that’s the point isn’t it…a lovely shot only tells one story and we’re all party to the one story telling whether we mean to be or not…I think it’s a symptom of the age we live in. Really fabby post lovely #bigpinklink

  29. July 18, 2016 / 1:44 pm

    I love this Bridie and I think you’re spot on. We can compare ourselves or worry that things don’t look quite how we want but it’s so futile! Honestly I don’t want a perfectly white living room and to bribe my son to sit still without dribbling on a cute outfit – I want to have fun with him, enjoy our comfy house and be relaxed! Normal is definitely more than enough. Oh and Emma is beautiful ❤️ #bigpinklink

  30. July 18, 2016 / 4:34 pm

    I wont lie I probably share the good pictures more than the bad. I personally just like looking at pretty pictures as well as real life ones. However I am under no illusion that the pretty pictures have not took a lot of time and energy to style and take – I also know that they are not peoples real life. I think as long as you keep that in mind than that’s fine (if that makes sense!) Great post lovely #bigpinklink.

  31. July 19, 2016 / 11:12 pm

    I just post whatever I feel like posting but was a bit stung recently by a family member saying her colleague said my life looks like one big holiday. Ooh…don’t get me started. I actually posted a thoroughly unglamorous photo of the state of our lounge on Sunday during a mass clear out and sort through! The culture of compare and despair is unavoidable (but does no good as you’ve seen yourself) but as long as you’re enjoying IG, that’s the main thing. Anyway you have a great feed, unfiltered or otherwise! #BigPinkLink REPOSTING cos it didn’t take blog post link last time!

    • July 20, 2016 / 7:13 am

      I think for me it’s just the comparing that makes me feel a bit rubbish – I love seeing pictures of other people lives (especially yours which always make me smile)and it’s all about balance! You’re right though as long as you’re enjoying it, that is the most important thing . Thank you for commenting x

  32. July 21, 2016 / 8:05 pm

    Oh honey you are so not alone, I am the queen of the bad day or at least that’s how it feels at the minute. Surrounded with snot, stops and meals thrown across the floor. Perhaps we should start our own #nofilter blogging series eh a make us and no doubt lots of others feel better about their crappy day xx #bigpinklink xx

  33. July 22, 2016 / 10:04 am

    It can be so tough to not compare yourself to the wonderful photos on Instagram. I agree with you though, we’re all good enough and should feel proud for getting our children through the day… even if they’re covered in food and you’ve spent the day in your pjs! Great post lovely.
    Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo – sorry it took so long to get to commenting. xx

    • July 22, 2016 / 10:05 am

      Aw thank you for such a lovely comment – no worries at all! Thank you for hosting #pocolo xx

  34. July 24, 2016 / 7:38 am

    I feel like this ALL THE TIME! I can completely relate. You are right though we are enough and parenting is hard and not always pretty. really enjoyed reading this, thanks for posting. x #bigpinklink

    • July 24, 2016 / 7:40 am

      Thank you for such a lovely comment, I’m so pleased you enjoyed reading it, and that I’m not alone! Xx

  35. July 28, 2016 / 2:18 am

    I very much loved reading this! I also find myself comparing pictures to others but love that the ones of my little bear are very true to life which is also beautiful. #TribalLove

  36. October 25, 2016 / 9:05 pm

    So true, I hate all the contrived pictures on social media! keep it real people! I’m linking up with #DreamTeam and was actually going to link up a post of a similar nature. I follow one person in-particular on social media who posts constantly about her amazing life, I ended up working with her recently and my goodness life really isn’t what it seems on Instagram. :-/

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