The Tribal Factor

Tribe. It’s one of those words you hear quite a lot these days, and as a mum more than ever. Before I had Emma, it’s safe to say I felt that I hadn’t found mine. Rather, I had personal relationships with a few very close friends, but never that group of girlfriends as a support network. No Sex and the City midnight banana splits at a local coffeehouse here! I’m not saying that as a sob story, because it’s not, and almost preferred the one-to-one relationships with friends, instead of the big group dynamic. Then I entered mummyhood, moved to a new city and things changed. Suddenly, at 34 weeks pregnant, I needed that support and started to feel very daunted about not knowing other mums in the area. I was scared about feeling isolated and alone. I always put that down to being new to the area, but as one of my Brightonian mummy friends pointed out, even if you have lots of friends in the city, they’re all at work when you need a bit of company during the day!























In my day-to-day life, I stressed about not finding like-minded Mums to hang out with when Emma was younger. I remember wondering if it was me…was I socially a bit awkward? Or maybe I wasn’t empathetic or funny enough? I really shouldn’t have worried as it all worked itself out. In the end I met just a few Mums who are among the loveliest girls I have ever met.

In my blog life, I started writing this blog and at first felt so nervous about everything I wrote. I feel really lucky to have found a tribe of bloggers, thanks to the wonderful Katie a.k.a Mummy in a Tutu. In my first month of blogging, I replied to her blog support thread and summoned a bit of courage to tell the others I was having a crisis of confidence. What I got in return was so much support and love for my blog. Katie’s Facebook group is amazing, with threads running each day, such as Blog Support, Klout, Instagram hashtags and Giveaways. The one that really touched me though was a thread where you say something positive about one member of the group. I was completely taken back by how thoughtful that is, and those positive comments completely made my day.

It’s only in the past 6 weeks that I feel like I’ve finally found my feet with blogging. At first I felt that maybe writing just wasn’t for me, if I’m really honest, but I suppose there’s just no science to it as to how long it takes to gain a bit of confidence with it. Time was one thing and I am always a bit impatient at the best of times…then there’s the tribal factor. I’ve read various blogs about finding your tribe and although I hadn’t thought about it when I first started my blog, it makes total sense. A small group of like-minded bloggers to support and champion you, for which you do the same of course. And it’s thanks to these lovely ladies that I feel pretty proud of my little blog.

tribe 2

So if you’re reading this thinking “this is me! I haven’t found my tribe either” please don’t worry like I did. It does take time and that all important patience. Plus sleep deprivation turns some of us (me) into a shadow of our former selves and it will all work out in the end. Above all, never doubt yourself, as you’re doing great.



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  1. July 26, 2016 / 6:15 am

    Such a lovely post! I hope Katie will read that; I am sure she will be so pleased. I would have joined this wonderful tribe but it’s a busy time with Baba’s last bottle and sleeping routine. I already feel like I give a lot of my time to my blog so I don’t want to give up on that too… #DreamTeam
    the frenchie mummy recently posted…Summer holidays in Norfolk – Day 1My Profile

    • July 26, 2016 / 6:20 am

      Thank you for commenting lovely, you put so much into the linkies and writing your wonderful blog! Thanks for linking up to the #dreamteam xx

  2. July 26, 2016 / 6:31 am

    What a lovely post to write! I remember your blog crisis of confidence comment and how shocked we all were that you could doubt yourself because your blog was and is fabulous! 🙂 #triballove
    Laura: Adventures with J recently posted…Life as a stay at home mumMy Profile

    • July 26, 2016 / 7:28 am

      Aww you’re so lovely 🙂 I love our amazing tribe! Thank you for reading xx

  3. July 26, 2016 / 6:49 am

    Yeah I didn’t really get the whole tribe thing. I mean I get the premise behind it, but what ever happened to just having friends!? But recently finding some wonderful bloggers who have given me advice and confidence has been so much more useful than I imagined. Its only taken three years to open up to that sort of thing! In real life I love being a local ‘mummy on the scene’. And despite having a child on the spectrum I’ve been included as much as anyone which is testament to the town I live in I guess! I’m so glad you’ve found people to support and help you along this bumpy crazy road of Motherhood! #DreamTeam
    Lisa Savage recently posted…Top Tips from a former Shoe FitterMy Profile

  4. July 26, 2016 / 7:11 am

    It really makes a difference having such a lovely support network – I know being part of a couple of blogger FB groups has been so helpful! #dreamteam

    • July 26, 2016 / 7:27 am

      Thank you lovely – that has been a wonderful thing for me too 🙂 Thanks for linking up your lolly recipe – can’t wait to read it xx

  5. July 26, 2016 / 7:16 am

    What a great post and so true. At first I felt like a very small fish in a big sea but starting to find my feet, or should I say flippers and seem to be building a nice network of lovely bloggers. Thanks for hosting #dreamteam linkys really do help us bloggers so much xx
    Fran Back With A Bump recently posted…What’s In Poppy’s Suitcase?My Profile

    • July 26, 2016 / 7:27 am

      Thank you for joining it – it’s so nice to know that I wasn’t the only one who felt like that at the start! Great to have you back again this week xx

  6. July 26, 2016 / 7:36 am

    I’m so glad you that you have found your ‘place’ are feeling so much more confident now. I don’t really have a ‘tribe’ yet but I’m relatively new to blogging, and have found the general support and encouragement from other bloggers really wonderful. #DreamTeam
    Lucy (@Lucy_at_home) recently posted…20 Life Hacks For ParentsMy Profile

  7. July 26, 2016 / 7:51 am

    Being so new to blogging, I have been bowled over by the friendliness of other bloggers. I am still trying to find my feet but the link ups are brilliant and I love finding all the new blogs through them #dreamteam
    Terry-Ann recently posted…Tantrum In Aisle SevenMy Profile

  8. July 26, 2016 / 8:05 am

    Lovely post. While I don’t belong to any tribe or anything and often consider myself to be something of a lone ranger. One thing that strikes me all the time amongst fellow bloggers, is how supportive people are. It’s fab. #dreamteam
    Rach recently posted…Mission Impossible: Week 2My Profile

  9. July 26, 2016 / 8:19 am

    I can’t believe you would ever have doubted your blog, alhough you haven’t been doing it that long it’s so good. When I first started blogging I hadn’t really heard about ‘tribes’ then I saw more people mention it whilst I just sort of bumbled around. I’m glad you have found your tribe and what Katie has done is amazing!x #dreamteam
    Ky recently posted…Ch-ch-ch-Changes – Blog & LifeMy Profile

    • July 26, 2016 / 8:45 am

      Oh thank you so much – it’s funny in those early days how you can doubt yourself so easily. It’s been lovely to find such supportive bloggers along the way. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam ! x

  10. July 26, 2016 / 8:39 am

    What a lovely post. Isn’t it funny that we find ourselves always needed the support, love and acceptance in every aspect of life. I always feel like I’m intruding on some blogging tribes and am yet to find my feet. I’m glad you’ve found yours and really enjoy your posts #dreamteam

  11. July 26, 2016 / 8:49 am

    What a lovely post. It’s scary putting yourself outo there isn’t it? Thanks for sharing this it’s put me in a really good mood! #dreamteam

    • July 26, 2016 / 8:51 am

      Aw thank you so much – that’s made my day! Xx

  12. July 26, 2016 / 8:53 am

    Aww that’s so lovely and very true. A network is so important in those early months/ years with a child. I recently relocated and it took time but feel like I am finding my tribe too. Well done on co hosting this Linky as this really helps bloggers to support eachother.

  13. July 26, 2016 / 9:13 am

    Such a lovely post. Its so great to hear that youve found your little tribe. I have to admit, after three years blogging I still havent really found mine, although I do have some fantastic relationships with a handful of bloggers that I would say are a little bit like having a tribe. It definitely makes a huge difference once you have other bloggers that you can connect with and speak to on a much more personal level 🙂 Emily #DreamTeam

  14. July 26, 2016 / 9:39 am

    Seeking my tribe.

    I am a bit of a niche blogger, I suppose. Although surely equality matters to us all? #DreamTeam

  15. July 26, 2016 / 10:51 am

    I totally agree – we all need a tribe – and in fact I find that all of us bloggers are really in one big tribe already as there is so much love and support in the blogosphere! There are those special few bloggy friends though, that are just there when you need a little nudge or a bit of support, and while we aren’t a specific tribe, I know who they are and they make my bloggy world so much happier! Lovely post xx
    Thanks for hosting #DreamTeam

  16. July 26, 2016 / 11:49 am

    I agree – having a tribe is great! I love that I have a group of talented women I can moan to/getting blogging advice from/share success with. I don’t have lots of ‘mum’ friends in the real world, so having other mums I can chat with online is so important. I only wish I could meet everyone in person! #dreamteam
    Squirmy Popple recently posted…How do I explain what summer is to my daughter?My Profile

  17. July 26, 2016 / 12:13 pm

    I love this so much! I think I’m starting to ‘find my tribe’ through blogging too. I went to my first event last weekend and even though I didn’t really know that many people I met so many wonderful bloggers and as I was networking I was like, yes, this is me, these are the people I want to be friends with! It just fit so well and I was like I want to network and blog and write for the rest of my life! But it does take time I agree. #DreamTeam

  18. July 26, 2016 / 12:15 pm

    I’m so glad that you found your tribe and your confidence! We certainly are tribal by nature and so it is very important to feel that we fit in somewhere. A lovely honest post and I couldn’t agree more that the blogging community feels extremely supportive to one another. Alison x #DreamTeam
    Alison (MadHouseMum) recently posted…Love Island: The Nation’s Moral CompassMy Profile

  19. July 26, 2016 / 12:16 pm

    Fantastic post, Bridget. I’m so happy to have found Tribal Chat also. It really makes a difference knowing you got a group of friends to chat to. It really does help me. #triballove
    Sarah – Mum & Mor recently posted…Second Marriage, Ahoy!My Profile

  20. July 26, 2016 / 12:22 pm

    I agree. It has been great to find you and the rest of the #tribe and share ideas about blogging and general mum stuff. I don’t have a lot of mum friends in my area (well zero actually), so definitely appreciate those I have found online.
    Single Mum Speaks recently posted…My Favourite BloggersMy Profile

  21. July 26, 2016 / 1:16 pm

    Lovely post. It’s great that you’ve found your tribe. Mummy in a Tutu’s Facebook site certainly sounds both useful and reassuring. I’m still a relatively new blogger myself and, like you, I’m grateful to those who reached out a hand in those first few weeks.
    Potty Adventures
    David Mellor recently posted…School Holiday Adventures to Check Out in North Wales this SummerMy Profile

  22. July 26, 2016 / 2:24 pm

    This is a lovely post and you’re so right. I don’t know what I’d do without all my lovely mum friends. My family don’t live very near so they have become like family, always helping out and ready to have a chat and glass of wine. I’ll have to check out Katie’s FB page as it sounds great. I have quite a lot of blogging friends but not a tribe as such…I don’t think you can ever have too many friends to help, love and support you. Your blog is fab by the way and your writing is really nice to read. Tor xx #DreamTeam

  23. July 26, 2016 / 3:06 pm

    Ah Bridget this is gorgeous! What a lovely post and I am so glad the tribe has helped you regain confidence in your blog – it’s amazing and I don’t know how you could ever have doubted that! It’s so lovely having people to chat to online and mummy friends in real life are so special, too. #DreamTeam
    Ellen recently posted…Babies, biscuits and books: #3My Profile

  24. July 26, 2016 / 3:10 pm

    A very honest post. Not many people like to admit they don’t have that big group of friends like on TV. I hoped having a baby might be the trigger for me to find a new group of friends, but toddler groups are tough and I found I often prefered my son’s company to trying so hard to fit in.
    Amy recently posted…Thyme, corn and cheddar loafMy Profile

  25. July 26, 2016 / 4:51 pm

    Love this post, I’m off to look up Katie’s facebook group, sounds fab. As a new blogger (and new mum) I’m still finding my tribe. So good to know things will probably work out fine. Well done on a lovely post that gives great encouragement to us new bloggers. #DreamTeam
    Lisa recently posted…Mammy Profile – NicolaMy Profile

  26. July 26, 2016 / 5:56 pm

    Ahh! We are pretty awesome.

  27. July 26, 2016 / 6:38 pm

    Love you!!!!!!!!! So glad I’ve found a friend in you. I may be rubbish with the tribe but you lot rock (especially you) xxx #DreamTeam

    • July 26, 2016 / 6:43 pm

      Aww Fi, love you too!! You are amazing and I’ll always remember how kind you’ve been to me..the first person (apart from my mum haha) to really champion and support my writing, thanks so much for your lovely comment xxx

  28. The Tale of Mummyhood
    July 26, 2016 / 6:55 pm

    I can really relate to this, I didn’t really have a tribe either. When my first was born I had to make a real effort to make Mummy friends but I’m so glad I have done, they are the ones that keep me sane when we are all up at 3am! Lovely post.


  29. July 26, 2016 / 9:39 pm

    This is such a lovely post. I’m glad you’ve found your bloggy tribe, and I hope that I’ll get to know you better too. Im currently drafting a post about the benefits of being part of a mummy tribe, so watch this space… #dreamteam

  30. July 26, 2016 / 11:35 pm

    Really lovely post. I’ve felt so encouraged about finding a mutual support network with other bloggers like you, Katie, et tooc. #DreamTeam

  31. July 26, 2016 / 11:59 pm

    I agree when you find them, love them and appreciate them xo Lovely post honey #DreamTeam
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…ladies nightMy Profile

  32. July 27, 2016 / 9:02 am

    I relate to this so much, you find that group of bloggers that you click with or have something in common with and enjoy their writing and that really sets you up and makes everything that bit more enjoyable. I didn’t expect this from blogging either. Joining Katie’s group now! #dreamteam
    Blabbermama recently posted…HELP! My baby is on fire! Cooling down in summer heatMy Profile

  33. July 27, 2016 / 12:26 pm

    Ah great post Bridie! I’ve been blogging for 3 years and have only heard the word tribe lately, but I agree – its fab to have a little group of trusted blogger friends for support! #dreamTeam
    Hayley McLean recently posted…A New Big Boy Bed – Bedroom TourMy Profile

  34. July 27, 2016 / 8:24 pm

    Aww what a lovely post! (That I actually read yesterday, but was busy so just come to reread!) I’m so happy that I joined this tribe! I actually don’t know if I would still be doing this if not. It’s made me feel like a real person again and not just ” a mum”. Lucy xx #triballove
    ohlucy recently posted…Dating Tales: The Time I Dated The DevilMy Profile

  35. July 28, 2016 / 7:30 am

    This is such a lovely post to write! I also struggle to find my feet sometimes and I think it’s important to have a few close blogger friends to ask advice that are only to happy to divulge!!! #DreamTeam
    Mimi Rose & Me recently posted…ONE YEAR OF BLOGGING!My Profile

  36. July 28, 2016 / 7:42 pm

    To be honest I don’t have a ‘tribe’, I comment on similar posts with that are similar to me. I do get anxious from time to time and feel shit that I am not in some group but you know what I am outcast/black sheep what ever you want to call it all my life so it probably the same with blogging. But you know what that is OK because blogging for most people is a choice and it great that some people have formed friendships of support whether that be online or face to face that is grnad. At the end of the day I believe in choice and go with what feels right to them X #dreamteam

  37. July 28, 2016 / 8:47 pm

    Totally get where you’re coming from. Infact I just wrote on a similar theme – I never found my mum tribe in real life , so I went online to find them instead ! #brillblogposts

  38. July 28, 2016 / 11:11 pm

    Still looking for my tribe but I find it hard to make friends so it’s taking some time. Very inspiring post, sets the bar!

  39. July 29, 2016 / 12:44 am

    I love this shout out about our little tribe! I think you very perfectly described how so many of us feel when becoming a new mom and new blogger. I am also very thankful for Katie and our tribe with all of the encouragement, help, and support. The facebook thred that you mentioned is also one of my favorite things. #TribalLove #DreamTeam
    Sarah@teammomlife recently posted…Three Months In The BlogosphereMy Profile

  40. July 29, 2016 / 10:08 pm

    I love this post because it gives hope I think I have found a mini blogging pal tribe, but yet to get into the Facebook groups. Just signed up now, so hopefully someone will add me soon. Maybe we should have a group for the #DreamTeam xx
    Annette, 3 Little Buttons recently posted…#DreamTeam Linky 13My Profile

  41. August 2, 2016 / 7:52 am

    Oh I wish I had been more organised and read this last week!! Tribal Chat sounds great I’m going to heading over there later to join! I’m so glad you found like minded mums in your new town. Love that you hot over your crisis of confidence well done you and thank you for hosting #DreamTeam xxx
    Mudpie Fridays recently posted…HELP – I’m in a Blogging Slump!My Profile

  42. August 2, 2016 / 3:24 pm

    I was also worried when I was pregnant that I wouldnt have anyone that I could hang out with and talk to while I was on maternity leave and beyond, but I was lucky enough to find a lovely group of ladies through pregnancy yoga who I meet with every week. Its really lovely to see all the children growing up!

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