That Healthy Eating Guilt

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit rubbish about my weight and have been beating myself up about it. There I said it. I feel like the first step is admitting it to myself. Just as I often suffer from the blogger guilt, my healthy eating guilt has also come up to say hello. This guilt doesn’t care that sometimes I feel like a sleep deprived zombie, or that sometimes I only have 5 minutes to quickly eat lunch before we go to the park, so grabbing a cheese sandwich will always win. It chips away and pops up to say “I told you so” after I indulge a little too much.

I know what I need to do, as the science of losing weight is pretty obviously to all of us…and with all this summery weather and our holiday round the corner, the incentive is there. Further than this, when Emma was younger, I even successful tackled the healthy eating and exercise hurdle…even if I did get slightly obsessed with it at the time. But the fact is, I’m just not doing it. I know that eating a whole pack of chocolate fingers will make me feel rubbish but I do it anyway. As Joey once said in Friends “it’s like I have my cape, and yet I cannot fly”.

striving to be healthy: close up of woman measuring belly

What I’ve realised, is that I need to start accepting my body how it is. When I went on my exercise mission, even though at the end of it, my tummy was looking pretty impressive, I still wasn’t happy. I still looked in the mirror and focused on my stretchmarks and belly button that looks so different to how it was before I had a baby. But I need to let that image of pre-baby me go. I really just need to accept how I am now and be proud. I know this is obvious – I mean, how many times have you seen that image saying that you should be proud of your stretchmarks, that you’re a tiger who earned her stripes. But it’s more complex than that for some people, isn’t it?

For me, it’s the pressure I put on myself. I know social media and the press show pictures of gorgeous women that have obviously been airbrushed but that’s not it. It’s me who has these high expectations of myself and feels guilty if I have a day when I just want to eat ALL the chips followed by ALL the cake. What I really need to do is just ease up a bit on that pressure and be a bit nicer to myself. So what if I choose to eat unhealthy for a few days, that was my choice and most of the time, it’s tied in with enjoying lovely time with family and friends. Absolutely nothing to be feeling bad about there!

healthy quote: that's funny. i don't recall buying tickets for a guilt trip.

So today I had a little wake up call, to stop feeling guilty about this and just get a bit of perspective. We’re always so hard on ourselves to nail every aspect of our lives, to do everything just right for ourselves and our families. I saw a beautiful post of Facebook yesterday that said to remind ourselves that however the day has gone, our babies think we are perfect. They focus on the amazing parts of their mummies and daddies and perhaps from time to time, we should all look at ourselves in the same way. Because the reality is that if Emma thinks I’m the perfect Mummy, that’s all I need.

30 Comments

  1. August 22, 2016 / 10:24 am

    I feel exactly the same, for instance last night when I was scoffing on 4…yes 4 kit kats I knew I would feel ridiculously naughty afterwards but I just couldn’t help it. I always complain about my body but my worst trait is comparing it. I have had 3 children but I still compare it to women who haven’t had children. Xx

  2. August 23, 2016 / 6:32 am

    It’s such a difficult balance! I try to follow the ‘everything in moderation’ rule but often fail when I scoff a while pack of biscuits. Glad you’ve decided to focus on feeling happier in your own body! #dreamteam

  3. August 23, 2016 / 6:43 am

    There is a lot to be said for self acceptance. I have started to realise that I will never be perfect like people in the media. but thats ok, I can be my ‘perfect’ what ever that is. Shame it’s taken me until the age of 36 to think that!
    #dreamteam
    Terry-Ann recently posted…My Fantasy ‘Big Brother’ ExperieinceMy Profile

  4. Colleyswobbles
    August 23, 2016 / 6:52 am

    I’m with you I totally feel the same. I’ve a holiday coming up and I want my squidgy podge to turn into a washboard stomach, but let’s face it it’s not going to happen overnight and the last time I had one was when I was 16. Time for a reality check. Whilst I’m eating relatively healthy the exercise factor isn’t happening, once the kids are in bed all I want to do is sleep. I agree with Kaye everything in moderation. We only live once and I’m sure just eating a diet Kayle and spinach smoothies isn’t the life were expected to live. Now where did I put that chocolate? #dreamteam

  5. August 23, 2016 / 7:11 am

    So true. We fixate on the negative aspects of our bodies. Life is often so busy that we just need to do what we can. Kids don’t notice our imperfections so you’re right, we should take always out of their books! #dreamteam

  6. August 23, 2016 / 7:15 am

    You’re absolutely right that there is a huge amount of pressure now because of airbrushed pictures but at the end of the day I think you are gorgeous! It can take a lot to accept yourself as you are but it’s so important. Life is so short; eat the cake! Everything in moderation xx #dreamteam

  7. August 23, 2016 / 8:13 am

    Bridie, you said it yourself – even when you were working really hard you were still picking holes in your body – sometimes I don’t think we are totally ever happy with our body – whatever shape we are. Your perspective now seems so much healthier – look at all the other aspects in your life that make you you and none of them are related to shape or size … for the record i think you’re a totally gorgeous mama and can’t believe you are even worried! #DreamTeam
    justsayingmum recently posted…Dear BloggerMy Profile

  8. August 23, 2016 / 9:26 am

    Yes this is true – our kiddies don’t care about our weight or our size – they just love us because of who we are. It’s easy to say and harder to believe though. Cake is yummy and meant for us to enjoy, we just need to do it in moderation (again easy to say and not as easy to do!). As someone who can feel guilt about anything and everything, I feel for you in this post. #DreamTeam
    Lucy (@Lucy_at_home) recently posted…How To Coach Kids To Cope With FailureMy Profile

  9. August 23, 2016 / 10:15 am

    I think that’s so true. Our children loves as we are, and we are perfect! A friend’s son just said to his mum the other day, ”I’m glad you’re not thin and stylish like those other ladies!” We are human, and beautiful because of it. #DreamTeam
    Kate recently posted…How To Stop ‘Doing’ Parenting And Simply Be A ParentMy Profile

  10. August 23, 2016 / 12:21 pm

    I returned from holiday 2weeks ago and I can’t get back into healthy eating so i know how you feel! hope you feel more you soon! #DreamTeam

  11. August 23, 2016 / 12:26 pm

    Ahh I know exactly what you mean! I LOVE my food especially cake and wine but I also want a nice flat, toned tummy. The two don’t go together though! I’m going on holiday next week so I’m exercising like crazy to try and get bikini ready by next week ??!! Why do us ladies always do this to ourselves? You don’t see the dads worrying! Tor xx #DreamTeam

  12. August 23, 2016 / 1:33 pm

    That’s so true, your daughter thinks you are wonderful however hard you might be on yourself. Good reminder to keep things in perspective. Since having my children I eat more sugar then I ever had in my life, but I feel like I need it. Running around after little ones is better then any gym! #DreamTeam
    rootsandwingsparenting recently posted…The perfect babyMy Profile

  13. August 23, 2016 / 2:06 pm

    I really relate to this post! I can be good at eating but don’t fit in much exercise, so when I do eat badly I feel even worse – yesterday I ate four chocolate eclairs 🙁 I could blame it on being the wrong time of the month but it won’t change things when I get on the scales! At the same time, Lily told me today that I am beautiful and it made me go all gooey inside. xx
    #dreamteam
    Our Cherry Tree recently posted…What I wish I knew… when planning my hen partyMy Profile

  14. August 23, 2016 / 4:13 pm

    Having babies changes our bodies. So many women I know including myself have a different cubbier shape after giving birth. I totally agree with you, when I look back even at my thinnest I still wasn’t happy with my weight. It is definitely much better to try and love who you are and the shape you are now
    Andrea @ Topsy Turvy Tribe recently posted…‘Av’ an avocadoMy Profile

  15. August 23, 2016 / 9:54 pm

    I feel guilty when I eat badly too, because I know better but I do it anyway. I think we need to be kinder to ourselves, though. We shouldn’t eat cake all the time, but there needs to be room for cake in our lives. And biscuits. And chocolate. All things in moderation! #DreamTeam
    Squirmy Popple recently posted…How to raise a free-range childMy Profile

  16. August 24, 2016 / 11:08 am

    I’m really struggling with this since being back at work – now I’m not breastfeeding as much the weight is not staying off like it was, and being at my desk and close to the vending machine is not doing any favours for my waistline! Whilst I’m not at the stage where I’ve fallen out of love with my body just yet, it’s a little shameful when the baby grabs a handful of fat from my belly and find it hilarious to watch it wobble!! I need to get back on the healthy eating wagon and stay on it!! #DreamTeam
    Something About Baby recently posted…Times To Treasure – Week 1My Profile

  17. August 24, 2016 / 11:09 am

    This will resonate with so many, including myself. It’s important to find a way to feel comfortable in your own skin, especially after having children.

    I run, because it’s the easiest thing when you have kids. I’m not obsessive about it but it makes me feel good and means I can eat chocolate fingers and drink a glass of wine and not feel guilty! Everyone needs their vices, a life without cake is no life at all. Be kind to yourselves ladies, you deserve it. #dreamteam

  18. August 24, 2016 / 11:34 am

    I totally agree with everything you’ve said here. We are always trying so hard to succeed at everything we want to do, but life gets in the way, and we need to be kind to ourselves. And it is so important to enjoy things like cake, especially if it involves fun times with our families! Great post. #bloggerclubuk

  19. August 24, 2016 / 11:51 am

    I love this post. It’s so easy to be down on our bodies, I for one am guilty of it. Acceptance is key though, my body has done an amazing thing – I need to focus on that and not the odd stretch mark here and there!

    #DreamTeam
    The Tale of Mummyhood recently posted…Lactose Intolerant. FACT!My Profile

  20. August 24, 2016 / 12:20 pm

    This rings so true for so many including myself. There are days I just cry because I don’t like what stares back at me in the mirror. But I have learned to live with the way I look most of the time. It doesn’t help that I am also a chocoholic #dreamteam
    charlotte recently posted…My Bi-weekly meal planning MondayMy Profile

  21. August 24, 2016 / 1:03 pm

    I want to eat all the chips and all the cake too. I can really relate to this I out so much pressure on my weight and appearance, more than is healthy. I knos i need to ease off a bit and be kinder to myself but it’s easier said than done. Especially when you like chips and cake and chocolate and wine …together. Anyway you’re right we need to be kinder to ourselves, life is hard enough as it is xx #dreamteam
    Tammymum recently posted…Plagiarism in blogging.My Profile

  22. August 24, 2016 / 6:27 pm

    I agree with this post. My body shape changed with each of my children. I always find something to moan about even though i don’t have a weight problem. I see stretch marks, wobbly bits, wrinkles appearing etc. I should really see myself more positive light. #DreamTeam
    Rachel (Lifeofmyfamilyandme) recently posted…I’m tired, really tiredMy Profile

  23. August 24, 2016 / 7:03 pm

    Yep – this is my (repeated) battle all over and I constantly look at other women who are usually younger and child-free and wish I could look more like them / wonder what I need to do in order to look like them. Or I look at women who have had children and wonder how they’ve managed to lose all the baby weight and look so much better than me. Ultimately you are completely right though – Emma doesn’t care if you’ve eaten a cheese sandwich or weigh 1lb extra one week and 2lb less the next – she just sees you as her mummy, and that’s all that really matters. Anyway you’re gorgeous with an enviably beautiful figure so no more complaining from you my dear!
    Sam at Mouse Moo & me Too recently posted…#34: My Daughter, the SnitchMy Profile

  24. August 24, 2016 / 7:13 pm

    Oh my goodness healthy eating is something a lot of us try to master but struggle with. It’s lovely to think that our children love us just as we are.#DreamTeam
    Helena recently posted…When Exhaustion StrikesIMy Profile

  25. August 24, 2016 / 10:39 pm

    We live with the idea that if 80% of what we eat is good stuff, we are doing well. #DreamTeam

  26. August 26, 2016 / 9:31 pm

    I’ve just been there, I lost 2st this year after my 2nd baby in January, it took me 22 weeks. By the end, when I met my goal and decided to have a weekend with no restrictions as a reward, I found myself unable to relax and stop calorie counting, almost panicking over what i was eating the guilt was so strong! #BloggerClubUK

  27. Edward
    August 26, 2016 / 11:34 pm

    The last line of your post really summed it up perfectly. You should love the way you are because that is how you are. As long as you have everything in moderation most of the time, then that day of cake and treats is fine. I’m not super healthy but neither do I eat badly. #DreamTeam

  28. August 27, 2016 / 5:02 pm

    There is pressure of course but life is too short to beat ourselves up all the time. Emma does not care how big or small or old or young you look, you are her mummy and for her that is all that matters. obviously as we get older we need to be a little more conscious about what we eat and drink for heath reasons. #DreamTeam
    Pat – White Camellias recently posted…Week 19 #WorldOfLittles Round upMy Profile

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