Ditching the Negative Vibes

I’m mostly a glass half full kinda girl…but there always that part of me that’s been a little negative. I often worry about what people think of me and kick myself for not being more confident in social situations. It becomes this negative spiral that I can’t get a hold of. But lately, a few things happened to make me draw a line in the same sand that has been around for years and say ENOUGH.

Woman sitting by a lakeside - reflections of trees in the water

Confidence is something I have always felt I was lacking. In my past career, I used to manage teams of 100+, and I think I was good at what I did. But even two years into the same role, I felt like the newbie, and I never knew why. I would cringe at the thought of going to lunch with the big bosses, when all they wanted to do was share the successes and congratulate us on a great job. That was the payback for the late nights and being on call for months on end, but somehow I didn’t want it; I’d rather be in the corner beavering away.

In the blog world, I doubt myself like a lot of us do. I sometimes write a post and think it is rubbish but decide to post it and am surprised with the kind comments coming back. I worry that I share too much, what people think of my writing (and that it’s not remotely funny). I worry about my niche and live in hope that it’s me and my experiences because beyond that I have no idea!

The irony of this is that people often compliment me for my confidence. My oldest friend often says to me that I’m someone who seems totally sorted in life, who’s got everything lined up and worked out. Like a swan gliding along but actually paddling her feet frantically to get from A to B, which could not be more accurate. I decided recently that if I sometimes appear confident anyway, it’s just my own mind I am battling with – so it’s all about Mission Positive from now on.

Tabby cat with big plastic glasses, smiling to camera

My first inspiration this week come from Honest Mum who posted a fab live video on Facebook about confidence. I enjoy reading her blog posts on this subject but the video really spoke to me. She said that everyone feels like that sometimes and to just ‘crack on’. I loved that for it’s simplicity and I am going to keep that in my mind to tell myself. It was just what I needed to hear…that I’m not alone in feeling like this and to remind myself its not about beating yourself up when things haven’t worked out. It’s time to be positive and just keep on trucking!

To add to this, Meagan from The Mum Project wrote a fantastic post on thinking more negatively about our bodies and remember how amazing they are. I am also guilty of saying some pretty mean things to myself about my body…I don’t know why I do it and I certainly wouldn’t dream of saying something like that to a friend! I know I’m not alone when I say I am a Mum who lost a lot of confidence after being pregnant. I’ve been through the phase of wanting to exercise at every spare moment to get back in shape. And now, I just want to be happy and comfortable in my own skin.

So here’s to ditching those negative vibes and reminding myself that I’m doing just fine. In light of the devastating news recently, and other news slightly closer to home – it’s good to remember that life is too short to be full of worry and regret. I’ve only got one shot at this (always reminds me Eminem) so it’s going to be good. And if there’s even just one person reading this who feels the same as I do, just remember: we’ve got this!

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  1. July 18, 2016 / 7:24 am

    What a lovely post! A wonderful read especially starting the week. I’m the same, I always feel negative and a worrier too, but yes, we should ditch the negative vibes because life is too short to worry and regret. We should make the most of it and we should start it within ourselves. #MarvMondays
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  2. July 18, 2016 / 8:20 am

    Well, you don’t need me to tell you think I think you’re beautiful inside and out and yes, you certainly come across as someone who has it all together. But I completely get the swan thing and it’s an analogy I’ve used to describe myself many a time! I’m definitely going to look at the Pay It Forward post, I keep meaning to and I think it’s something we all need from time to time. Much love xx #anythinggoes

    • July 18, 2016 / 8:22 am

      Aww thank you lovely…so kind of you to say ❤️ I love the swan analogy too xx

  3. July 18, 2016 / 9:23 am

    Thanks so much for the shout out, we all struggling with confidence but feigning it and rewiring our brain is crucial to overcoming self-doubt. You are amazeballs, know it, believe it and crack on xxx

    • July 18, 2016 / 10:07 am

      Thank you for reading – the positive thoughts help so much and I loved your video! It made me feel relieved I’m not the only one 🙂 xx

  4. July 18, 2016 / 10:09 am

    Oh I am with you here! When ever anyone congratulates me on my blog, I never take it as I am convinved that they must be mistaken! I need to learn to be confident in myself. Here is to us being more confident – eye of the tiger, girl power and a whole lot of rooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaar! #marvmondays
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  5. July 18, 2016 / 11:12 am

    I need to ditch the negative vibes too – I feel like I often lack confidence, especially when it comes to work or my blog. I’m trying to remind myself that I actually do have useful skills and am really not so bad at this whole web writing thing. Here’s to positivity!
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  6. July 18, 2016 / 11:22 am

    Good for you for tackling those negative thoughts! Blogging has definitely made me feel a lot more positive than I used to be, although I’ve always been a very positive person. I think it’s natural for us to doubt ourselves but I’m so happy you’ve been inspired by others to try and combat it, well done 🙂 X #MarvMondays

  7. July 18, 2016 / 11:24 am

    I know exactly how you feel. We’re very similar, I think. I am come across as an altogether person, but I worry an panic around every corner. I come across so positive and I think people assume I am okay so just leave me to it. Its an interesting one! So here is to you shaking your negative vibes! Well done! #anythinggoes
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  8. July 18, 2016 / 3:03 pm

    Well done for tackling the negative thoughts!!! I have them a lot too and am definitely my own worst critic in every aspect, it’s hard to silence that naysaying voice when you’ve always lived with it but I do believe that the more you tell yourself something, the more you believe it. So surely rather than telling ourselves those bad things we need to try harder to tell ourselves how great we are until we believe it?! Sounds easy when you write it down lol #FartGlitter
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    • July 18, 2016 / 3:09 pm

      I agree, so much easier to write it down! I suppose we just have to keep on telling ourselves we’re doing great until we start to believe it :-)My other half is constantly asking me why I always doubt myself! Thanks for reading xx

  9. July 18, 2016 / 10:17 pm

    Pretty Woman said ‘the bad stuff is easier to believe.’ and for many of us, she’s got a point. We brush aside compliments yet readily absorb every barb and negative jibe. I’ve realised in recent years that when we think something positive or encouraging about someone, we should verbalise it and tell them…Not keep it to ourselves. When we are moved, inspired, impressed, affected or grateful for another’s talent, frienship or help, then we MUST tell them…I have come across a number of really special, wonderful talented people recently who find it hard to believe the ‘good news’ of how awesome they are and it makes me sad that the world has shaped that opinion of themselves. It makes me more determined to tell them they are great (when they are) tell them I appreciate them (because I do)…I pray that one day they will trust that what I say is true and they will let it sink in and fill the space that has so far been taken up be negative and thoughtless words, that are often untrue, unfair and careless. Thanks for sharing. A really insightful post, Bridie. #MarvMOndays

  10. July 19, 2016 / 6:07 am

    Great post! Why are we so hard on ourselves when we are so good at being positive about everyone else. I am terrible for that. Always love complimenting others but never compliment myself. Now off to act like a duck for another day, on the outside gliding along sorting everything while underneath my little feet do not stop!!!! #MarvMondays

  11. July 19, 2016 / 6:59 pm

    Great post. I think there are many of us who feel or have felt the way you do. #MarvMondays
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  12. July 21, 2016 / 11:20 am

    #StayClassyMama Thank you for this post. I am only new to the blogging world, and I find myself second guessing and wondering whether my writing is good enough. I lost a lot of confidence, when I became blind last year. Are used to be one to be quite confident in a room of people… But now I find myself sitting in a corner, worried about how I might come across. It is good to know that I am not alone. Thank you.
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    • July 21, 2016 / 11:37 am

      I’m so glad that you liked my post – I felt the same too when I started blogging. I found it took a while to get used to “putting yourself out there” but then I realised we all feel a bit worried at some stage and it’s totally normal. I hope your confidence starts to build back up 🙂

  13. July 21, 2016 / 3:30 pm

    Great post! I am so with you on this. I have so many blog posts that I haven’t published because of fear of negativity. I definitely just need to hit publish! #StayClassyMama
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  14. July 21, 2016 / 7:31 pm

    This post is spot on. Many people have doubts and we all need encouragement to keep going. Also love the part about having one shot–we all have to make the most with the hand we’ve been dealt.

  15. July 23, 2016 / 12:01 am

    Oh bless you Bridie. You have SUCH an endearing writing style, you gorgeous girl. Keep up the positivity (and yes we all tear ourselves apart with the same stuff by the way) and the positivity will keep up with you (yes apparently I’m very profound at 2 o’clock in the morning!). PS LOVE that cat image!!! #MarvMondays
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  16. July 23, 2016 / 5:31 pm

    Positive is good. I am a glass half empty person and am always looking for the negative in something which is not good as my husband tells me on a daily basis but I blame that on my “worry” gene which seems to grow as my kids get older and start spreading their wings more. Believing in ourselves is essential to blogging so keep going. #fortheloveofBLOG
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  17. July 23, 2016 / 5:56 pm

    Bridie this is so lovely. You definitely come across confident online although does that count?! I think becoming a mother definitely changes the way you feel about yourself, I have certainly had a few confidence wobbles but then realised my body is amazing for the things it has achieved and the gorgeous tiny human it created, and I need to just give myself a break! I really like what you say about only having one shot, it’s so true. #StayClassyMama
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    • July 23, 2016 / 6:02 pm

      Thank you lovely – I think online definitely counts I’m so chuffed you liked it, thank you for reading xx

  18. July 23, 2016 / 8:39 pm

    I love this post! I can completely and totally relate to it. I have the same anxieties that you have, yet seem to have done ok (maybe even well) in life. I think like you say, a big part of it is in our minds and something that we need to overcome within us rather than convince everyone else. Thanks for sharing this on #MarvMondays. Emily

  19. July 25, 2016 / 3:04 pm

    Oh I can so relate to how you feel, I have such low confidence and doubt myself all the time. I’m trying to beat these feelings and realise that actually I’m probably not as bad as I think. Love that swan analogy. I’m always sp shocked when people say I seem confident, they couldn’t be further from the truth. Great Monday motivation, thanks xz pms you’re awesome #mg
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    • July 25, 2016 / 3:09 pm

      Aw thank you for the lovely comment – it’s so lovely to know that I’m not alone in this. It’s a funny thing isn’t it and hard to pull away from being such a harsh critic to yourself. Thanks again lovely, you’ve made my day xx

  20. July 25, 2016 / 5:57 pm

    I have a mantra: fake it, ’til you make it and this is often the case. So many people say that they lack confidence in one thing or another, but faking it really does work. Like you say: a swan on the surface, with feet paddling madly underneath! It’s so good to share your thoughts and good for you for wanting to turn yourself around. Alison x #mg

    • July 26, 2016 / 10:28 am

      Absolutely, it’s my mantra too! Thanks for reading xx

  21. July 26, 2016 / 8:43 pm

    Beautiful post Bridie, I think that we all feel negative about ourselves whether it comes to work, blogging, being a Mum etc. There’s a whole host of things that we should feel more positive about. I struggle with the feeling that blog isn’t good enough, or I’m not doing my best at work. However I’ve learnt that positivity breeds positivity, and I’m of the mindset that positive people tend to breed confidence too. Your post is right, we should stop feeling negative and embrace positivity! Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG this week. Claire x
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  22. July 28, 2016 / 7:22 am

    Ah Bridge I totally needed this post before work today. I love the Eminem quote at the end as well, he’s my fave, I’m singing the lyrics in my head now. I completely agree, we should always try to be more positive. I was reading this book called “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, and she talks about the imposter syndrome. How people, mostly women, are affected by this. We think we are never good enough and always feel like a phoney, even though in reality we are great at what we do! I think if we know this we can remember that it’s just a silly voice in our head that makes us feel like a phoney. I’m going to be positive today even though I have had very little sleep! Thanks for mentioning my post in here, feel very honoured. I’m glad it was helpful in some way, I never know if my posts are doing anything haha. Thanks for the inspiration and sharing with #StayClassyMama!
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  23. July 31, 2016 / 4:27 am

    I know what you mean, often my insecure nature was mistaken for over confidence and even me being a snob. I also feel like that swan paddling madly underneath. In 2014 I felt I couldn’t fake it anymore and I was teary all the time. I am so over being hard on myself, I am with you I am embracing the positivity xx #mg
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